What means this "blogging" of which you speak so highly?

Nature ... it's smarter than you think

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:51:09 GMT

Count the awesome in this picture

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:15:12 GMT

I dare you.

I have to share this

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:40:21 GMT

Borrowed from an ESPN column, as an email exchange between ESPN's Bill Simmons and author Malcolm Gladwell. I give a lot of weight to this theory. (But if you've ever seen me give the TV the finger whenever Gary Bettman is on-screen, you'd probably have guessed this.)

SIMMONS

Speaking of crazy theories, what about the idea that Stern planted Bettman in the NHL knowing he would screw the league up? Follow this timeline.

Fall 1992: Stern sees the NHL coming on strong: Gretzky in Los Angeles; a potential Lemieux/Jagr dynasty in Pittsburgh; Lindros looming in Philly, Messier leading the Rangers back to prominence; three other potential superstars (Alex Mogilny, Pavel Bure and Steve Yzerman); and four major markets (Detroit, Boston, Montreal and Chicago) contending for the Cup. Well, he has to sabotage this immediately. When the NHL owners come to him for a recommendation, he pushes his assistant Bettman on them. It's like Michael Corleone convincing Moe Greene to let Fredo run his casinos. No, really, he'll be great!

Feb 1, 1993: Bettman takes over. At this point, he is saying all the right things and not hinting at his desire to overexpand, lower the number of Canadian teams and effectively destroy the soul of the league.

June 1994: The league finishes its greatest 18-month run ever -- Montreal beating Gretzky's Kings in the '93 finals, then the Rangers ending a 54-year drought by winning the '94 Cup -- and if that's not enough, Jordan "retires" (sorry, I have to use quotes) and baseball has its damaging strike. Sports Illustrated cements hockey's coming-on-strong status with its memorable "WHY THE NHL'S HOT AND THE NBA'S NOT" cover. Even in video games, the NHL was crushing it: That year, "NHL '94" became the single biggest time-waster other than the O.J. trial. There was no cooler/hipper/hotter sport.

Looking back, how can you screw that up? Bettman did it. Forget about all the other reasons the NHL fell off a cliff for 12 years (only recently have there been signs of life) and concentrate on this one: The league had 24 teams when Bettman took over, including eight in Canada. Now they have a whopping 30 teams, including more warm-weather American teams (L.A., Phoenix, Nashville, Carolina, Tampa, Florida, Atlanta, Anaheim) than Canadian teams (only six). Here's Canada, the country that loves hockey more than anyone loves anything … and it only represents 20 percent of the National Hockey League. This is the single dumbest true fact in sports right now. And it happened on Bettman's watch.

GLADWELL

It's incredible, isn't it? What I don't understand is how a country that is obsessed with hockey and supplies the lion's share of players and diehard fans to the NHL allows its national sport to be run by an American working out of New York City. It's as if the Super Bowl were moved, permanently, to Winnipeg. I think the Canadian teams should simply secede from the league and start over. And we'd take any northern American teams that wanted to come as well, particularly those in the upper Midwest and greater Ohio Valley which, if you'll remember your War of 1812 history correctly, is an area that really ought to belong to Canada anyway. But maybe that argument is best left for another time.

Thanks, and a question

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:42:10 GMT

Thanks everybody for your kind thoughts, etc. yesterday. I'm in fine shape, just some minor surface injuries, and the swelling/bruising is already going down. I'll be back out in full force tomorrow.

Now, who would be willing to pay $5 for me to take part in a Polar Bear Dip in Lake Ontario on January 1? The pool's closed, so I need to get in my swim somehow. (All donations go to charity, which doesn't include the Testicular Retraction Foundation.)

Frozen asphalt is hard

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 14:08:19 GMT

I had my first spill on the bike in probably 7-8 years this morning. Nothing serious, just washed out the back wheel in a corner. With the weather hovering around freezing and the sun not quite up yet, there can be a frozen sheen in some less-traveled areas. I wasn't gong fast, so the impact was just me hitting the ground. Skidding was kept to a minimum. The cars around me at the time were nice enough to drive around me. No one stopped to see if I was OK. (Aside: I stopped to give a guy in a car directions this morning. And the comments section of every cycling article in the Star is filled with what assholes bike riders are.) A little bit of road rash on my elbow and knee (more on the jacket), and my hip is tightening up now that I've stopped moving. I can use this an excuse to get up and walk around every 30 minutes or so.

I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:33:11 GMT

Zombie-rock:

Today's driving tip of the day

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:12:15 GMT

4x4 makes you go, and is very helpful in adverse conditions, but it does nothing to help you stop. Just because you can get your car up to 60 in the muck doesn't mean you should drive it, because you might not be able to stop.

In related news, at least 50% of Toronto drivers shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel of a motor vehicle in anything less than ideal conditions.

Non-Starbucks Starbucks

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 15:22:59 GMT

Interesting article on Starbucks' attempts at being like ninjas.

Maybe the reason it's not working is that the coffee still sucks.

It's not what you think

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 20:30:04 GMT

I can't make it, but...

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:31:54 GMT

If you want to meet one of Canada's most successful Olympic athletes (one Gold, one Silver), head to Gears in Mississauga tonight.

An unofficial official announcement

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 14:14:23 GMT

There was supposed to be a big public announcement a couple of weeks ago, but was put off because of my uncle's funeral, and instead word has gotten around through mostly haphazard means. Because of that, a few people may have been inadvertantly left out of the loop. So for that, my most sincere apologies. And just to catch everyone up:

This is Cletus the Fetus, on the way in May 2010.

My likely next race result

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:59:46 GMT

Bad tattoos

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:26:17 GMT

This came up as a subject of conversation recently, and the example below fits the bill. Not only is the font difficult to read, but is that really something you want on your skin forever?

Really?!?

Awesome FAIL

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 20:56:56 GMT

Good/bad news

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:32:34 GMT

The Canadian Carnage Tour (Megadeth/Slayer) has been postponed. Tom Araya needed back surgery this week (related to his stage performances). Hopefully he will heal well, the tour will start again in the spring, and as long as they aren't up against Lyle Lovett again, I'll be there.

Maybe you're not impressed

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:54:12 GMT

I know almost nothing about playing guitar, so kudos to anyone who can strum a chord that doesn't sound like a dying cat. And maybe this is actually pretty easy, but I'm pretty impressed, and at 23 million views, so are some other folks:

42% of all statistics are made up

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:43:37 GMT

Is it just me, or is there something wrong with this figure?

This is NOT the quiet car

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:03:49 GMT

Add your own "car tones".

I'd want the bassline from Sly and the Family Stone's "Thank You" for cruising around, and the drum part to "Black Label" over 100 km/h.

Shocking news

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 12:51:40 GMT

On November 13, I'll have the pleasure of going to the Lyle Lovett and His Large Band concert here in Toronto. Tickets are purchased, excitement level is high. This morning I found out about another tour coming to town, Canadian Carnage, featuring Megadeth and Slayer. When does the tour hit Toronto? November 13. I wondered, how could they do this? How could they schedule this two shows for the same night? What were they thinking?

Then I realized, I am probably the only person in the cross-over audience. The intersection of the Venn diagram is me.

Need help

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 18:12:35 GMT

Does anyone know a decent place or places to sell/trade books, CDs, DVDs? Preferably in the GTA, but I'll travel to off-load crap I have no more use for.

(Pardon me, in case someone who might buy my stuff is reading. Not "crap", what I mean is "high quality merchandise I'm sad to part with that smells like rainbows and unicorns and love".)

I resemble that remark

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 21:02:08 GMT

If I were a guitar-playing custodian instead of a TV-watching statistician, I'd be Frazz.

Revenge of the Balls

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:45:25 GMT

Some may be familiar with my love of the TV show Wipeout. I'm not going to claim it's high-brow art, but there's always something entertaining about people getting hit in the nuts or falling such that their feet are behind their head (or head behind their feet). I laugh myself to tears every Wednesday, frightening the cat (and my wife). Good times.

Anyway, it should come as no surprise, then, that I greatly enjoy this:

Facebook Win

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:43:38 GMT

Pursuant to chutchings post about annoying Facebook users, this is the proper way to post on Facebook.

Youtube randomness

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:40:25 GMT

I don't know why this is awesome, but it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NC_gkcplz_4&feature=related

Stolen from Jason Mulgrew's blog

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 21:10:43 GMT

Warning: Considering the video, there's some inappropriate dialogue. Enjoy.